Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER
First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ
THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?
Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??
who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly
THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE
WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES
ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP
ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE
Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression
Then we get Antonio Benderez doing this?
AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE
AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON
HOW WAS THIS A MOVIE???
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
im pro choice
when you’re with annoying people:
when someone gives sad headcanons:
when the facts are wrong but people listen to that anyway:
when Mercury teases Emerald about her notice-me-senpai-ness in Chapter 1:
when Mercury Black knows you’re lost:
parents tell your friends embarrassing stories about you:
and they make a comeback with:
How to tape up your hands before a fight
Let’s go beat someone up! But no seriously, does this prevent pain or something ? What do these bandages actually serve ?
It keeps your bones aligned to prevent injury, compresses soft tissue to make the fist more rigid, and pads the knuckles. Skull bones are sturdier than hand bones, and even if you know what you’re doing there’s a high risk of damaging your metacarpals if you punch someone barehanded. It’s why they recommend if you find yourself in a fight unprepared to bunt their nose with the butt of your palm, because if the other person tucks their head and you end up hitting their forehead instead it’ll do a lot less damage to your palm than your knuckles.
Tumblr teach’n you how to fucks someone’s shit up.
Why is this in my camera roll
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post